Silent Night
by lovablegeek
Summary: [Post Serenity] Five nights Mal didn't spend in his bunk, and did spend with River. MalRiver [One shot]
1. Chapter 1

**i.**  
Truth be told, Mal would've preferred the doctor patch him up, instead of the fed doctors on the Operative's ship. But Simon had his own hurts to nurse, and probably wouldn't have been able to stand long enough anyway, to deal with surgery and whatnot. Nevertheless, he couldn't help but be a little edgy when they doped him, and just as edgy when he woke up and wasn't on Serenity, but in some infirmary he didn't recognize.  
River drifted into view, and it was almost laughable, how he couldn't even move without pain and having to lie back down again, and the only hurts he could see on her were a few scrapes on her arm, and a white bandage on her forehead, above one eye. She faced Reavers, she only got a bit scraped up. He faced one man with a sword, he almost died. It figured.  
"Don't worry, captain," she said, smiling at him - and that smile was more lucid than even he felt just now, coming out from the anesthetic. "We're okay now. You can rest."  
He didn't think he could, in some strange hospital on a ship he didn't know, with only one of his crew around - and that one being the crazy girl - but she reached out to him gently, like a benediction, smoothed hair a little matted with blood, and he relaxed despite himself.

**ii.**  
The ever-present hum of Serenity's engines wasn't quite enough to lull Mal to sleep as they usually did. The lights dimmed for the night, Mal paced over the catwalks, through the cargo bay, back up to the catwalk and through the cargo bay to the bridge. It was too hard to sleep these days. He kept thinking there was something he could be looking out for, some kind of threat or something...  
He was like this for a long time after the war too. It was a war, when he thought about it.  
Mal stopped in the doorway to the bridge, staring at the slender form curled in one of the chairs, face tilted up to the stars. She didn't turn to face him, but she probably already knew he was there. Even if she weren't a reader, it was quiet enough she could hear him.  
"Shouldn't you be in bed?" he asked, stepping onto the brdige and moving to Wash's chair. It would always be Wash's chair.  
Without looking at him, she shook her head. "I couldn't sleep. And _you_ were up."  
"Just 'cause I'm awake don't mean you have to- When'd you get up here?"  
"You're not very observant, Captain," she said, her tone just this side of patronizing.  
"No, you're just all sneaky and quiet-like." He smiled at her as she looked over at him, and she smiled back.  
"Do you know the names of the stars?" she asked abruptly. Having grown accustomed to these non sequiturs, he took it in stride.  
"Can't say as I do."  
"They were named on Earth-that-was. But they look different from here, so the constellations... don't make any sense." She looked like something about that bothered her, but he couldn't fathom why.  
"Why don't you teach me anyway?"

**iii.**  
"Where we goin'?" Jayne asked, leaning against the back of Mal's seat. Mal kept his eyes focused on the dark sky out the window of the shuttle, the landscape racing by.  
"Jayne, I explained the job to you twenty times, you got to ask questions now?"  
"That's not the question," River said quietly from the seat beside Mal.  
Jayne eyed her for a moment, her face lit by the light of the console, before he said, "Well... it ain't. Why we gotta take the shuttle?"  
"Place like this, Serenity'd draw too much attention."  
"Why we gotta go through atmo? It'll take hours."  
"Jayne, I ain't got the time nor the inclination to explain this to you again." Mal tried to remember the reasons he'd brought Jayne along instead of Zoe, namely that under no circumstances should Jayne have even temporary control of Serenity.  
"I'm just sayin', if I'm gettin' shot at, I oughta know-"  
"Jayne," River said with perfect equanamity, "you're annoying the Captain. Be quiet."  
Jayne, to Mal's surprise and great relief, did just that.

**iv.**  
Simon was about as angry as Mal had ever seen him. Mal didn't blame him - he was mad as hell at himself at this point. Stupid, bringing a little girl along on a job, like she was invincible or something. Stupid, not even thinking about it, all the things he'd seen her do.  
Stupid, that she survived a room full of Reavers, but a stray bullet was the thing that might kill her.  
Mal didn't go into the infirmary at all, though Kaylee stayed in there, holding her hand, and Simon kept coming by to check. He just waited outside, restless and angry and praying for the first time in years.

**v.**  
They buried her on Shadow, simply because it was the world closest when she died. Simon didn't shoot Mal like he'd promised he would, just got awful quiet. Mal had expected as much. He piloted the ship as they took off, and found a course out into the black.  
There wasn't a trace of her up on the bridge, where she spent most of her time. Least Wash left his silly dinosaurs, that damn red button... It was like River was never even here.  
He felt like if he looked over, she'd be right there, all smug and knowing, making him feel silly for ever worrying about her. Mal kept his eyes fixed on the stars. 


	2. Alternate Ending

**AN: **I wrote two endings to this story, because I wasn't sure which way I wanted to end it. I finally decided on the angst, but I decided to include this just in case anyone was interested. Here you are, the happy, shippy ending!

* * *

It had been three days since River got shot. Of course, Mal hadn't been down there the whole time, there were things to do, they still had to get paid. Mal hadn't slept much since then, though, and found he really couldn't. He paced around the ship, wondered about poking around the infirmary to see if Simon had any mild sedatives hiding somewhere...

Then he'd have to see River's silent, still form, wonder if she'd wake up. He'd lost enough crew, too many to worry about this now. He kept pacing, and found himself at the door to River's room, staring at her empty bed. This whole stupid thing was-

"It's not your fault, Captain," a soft voice said behind him. He whirled to face her - River, looking very pale, a little unsteady, but _there_. Alive.

"When did- You prob'ly oughta lie down, darlin'. You lost a lot of blood." It was all he could find to say, the only words that would form. River stepped past him into the room, and sat on the bed, though her eyes stayed fixed on Mal. They seemed unusually dark in her pale face.

"Everyone's so scared," she said quietly.

Mal managed a very small smile. "Well, we was all worried about you. Guess I should tell your brother you're pretty well alive..."

Before he could move, River said, "Don't- Please stay. I got lost. If you look away, I'll disappear."

Mal hesitated in the doorway, and at last stepped in slowly, a little unsure. He closed the door behind him.


End file.
